July 28, 2006
By Kathy L. Gilbert
NASHVILLE, Tenn. Dying is as natural as drawing
breath, but the church has done a poor job of talking about the
subject, says retired United Methodist Bishop Ruben Job.
To help open the door to this topic, Job, 78,
has written Living Fully, Dying Well, published by Abingdon
Press. The study includes a DVD featuring video segments by Job
and other contributors as well as study sessions for adults and
teens.
Video segments feature the Rev. Rick Gentzler,
director of United Methodist Board of Discipleship's Older Adult
Ministries; the Rev. John Collett, senior pastor at Belmont United
Methodist Church, Nashville; and Dr. David Jarvis, physician and
member of Belmont. Other contributors include author Martha Hickman;
Belmont member Mozelle Cor; insurance expert Charles Hewgely; nurse
Bonnie Johnson; and attorney Mary Boyd.
The last video session includes personal stories
from five contributors.
"The DVD adds the convenience of an in-class
expert," said Susan Salley, executive director of church program
resources at the United Methodist Publishing House. "I'm really
thrilled about the five choices for session eight, the final lesson.
Here we have clips of personal interviews with five people; the
personal stories are wonderful."
Job discussed the project in an interview with
United Methodist News Service.
Q: Where did the idea for this book come from?
A: I suppose the idea came about through my own
life experience. For more than 50 years I have been deeply interested
in spirituality, and I was always fascinated with the saints of
the past and their incredible trust in God and their view of birth
and death as a seamless garment of life. That stayed with me from
at least my college years, when I took a course in religious classics
and began reading in the field of what we now call spirituality.
In the early 90s, I began teaching and writing
in the field of spirituality. I was asked to do a workshop for workers
with older adults from across the country on spirituality in aging.
As I prepared for that, I discovered the one issue people refused
to really talk about much was death itself how we prepare for
it, how we deal with it, what we experience while we experience
death.
I think one of the things that gave urgency and
passion to this project is my own health, and another is the experience
of watching two brothers and a sister-in-law die a good death. I
also think my interest is the result of a deep curiosity that I
have about most of life. I am fascinated by the mystery that the
Hubbell Telescope reveals and the tiniest particle that the new
and powerful microscopes reveal, and I have always been interested
in how things work and why. My curiosity about life naturally led
to curiosity about birth, death and everything between.
The older adult group at Belmont United Methodist
Church, Nashville, Tenn., where we worship, asked if I would make
a presentation there. I made the presentation and I encouraged the
staff of the church to do some teaching in this area about basically
living fully and dying well I think those were the words I used
then.
Q: What is your fondest dream for this book?
A: I suppose my fondest dream would be that Christians
everywhere, United Methodists and far beyond, find a way to live
fully all of their days, and that would mean living fully and dying
well.
Perhaps another dream would be to help the church
to teach well for all stages of life. I think the church has not
done that very well, and I'm a part of that, so I'm pointing fingers
at myself.
In the broader perspective, I guess my dream
would be to open the conversation about what may be life's most
important and dramatic experience, and that is death itself. We
just don't talk about it in our society ... people "pass," but we
never say they died. So to open this conversation among families,
among congregations, among friends, so we know how to help one another
during this second most important event in our lives. In this world,
birth is the first, death is the second.
I suppose those would be my dreams. They're lofty
loftier than the product. But you can dream can't you?
Q: How do you prepare and reassure someone about
the process of death?
A: First of all, you have to have some trust
with the person so that they would feel comfortable with you, I
think. And then second, you have to begin with the fact that it's
a natural consequence of living, just as birth is, and it is not
some aberration of life, it's a natural consequence of living, and
that God provides for us all the grace, the strength, the courage,
the trust to experience death well and fully without fear.
If we can live with God in this world, we should
have no discomfort in thinking of living with God in the world to
come; or passing through the veil of death that separates life in
this world from life in the next world.
Q: Do you feel comfortable with your own mortality?
A: I have no fears at all about death. I think
everyone has some apprehension about pain, and in the past perhaps
we did not treat pain well. I think now that's not true anymore.
And even when we did not, I think the body itself begins to close
off the functions so that the pain itself is lessened.
I always felt for a long time as a pastor that
it was more difficult for the people who watched a loved one die
than it was for the loved one who was dying. But now I think the
medical profession handles pain so much better than they did in
the past, so that is not so much a big factor.
I have no anxiety about my own death. I just
had a stint put in, and for a person of my age with a third of
my heart function remaining it's a risky venture. But I went into
that operating room with the same confidence that I lie down in
my bed every night. Had I awakened in another world, I don't believe
I would have been surprised or afraid.
Certainly I don't know what that's going to be
like, but I have some idea that it will be good because this life
is good.
Living Fully, Dying Well, along with study
guides, the DVD and other material, is available through Cokesbury.
For more information, go to http://www.cokesbury.com/search.aspx?scope=all&query=living%20fully%20dying.
United Methodist News Service
Kathy L. Gilbert is a United Methodist News Service news writer
based in Nashville, Tenn.
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