December 9, 2004
By Susan Passi-Klaus

It took divorce for Anthony and Mitchie Stewart to discover that giving up on their marriage was a mistake.

The couple divorced in 2000 after almost 10 years of marriage. Why? Because Anthony, then 38, put his career and social life ahead of his family.

"I thought that providing for my family was enough," he says. "We had a nice house; there was food on the table. That's what my father did and I thought it was what I was supposed to do."

Mitchie, now 41, says she had had enough. "What was the point of being married if he was never there and didn't have time for us?"

Anthony had never imagined himself divorced. In fact, he considered himself a family man, so he protested, but in the end gave Mitchie the divorce she thought she wanted. However, he never stopped praying they'd get back together.

Four years after the divorce, both had nagging feelings that maybe they hadn't tried hard enough to make their marriage work.

Despite his engagement to another woman, Anthony found himself on his knees asking God if he was doing the right thing. The answer he got was, "You made a covenant with Mitchie and you need to keep it."

Mitchie was also engaged, but her own second thoughts led her to call off the wedding. One day, out of the blue, she confessed to Anthony, "I blew it. I just blew it. I'm sorry I put you through it. I was just too impatient to try and make it work."

The Stewarts, who attend Bethel AME Church in Tallahassee, Fla., decided they wouldn't retie the knot before participating in PAIRS, a marriage enrichment program offered through "Live The Life Ministries" at Killearn United Methodist Church.

"It taught us the tools for communication that made us more sensitive to each other's needs," Mitchie says.

On Feb. 14, 2004, they took their vows again - this time paying extra attention to the words.

"There was a sweet, sweet spirit in that chapel." Anthony says. "Now we know what's outside the walls of this marriage, and we don't want it."

United Methodist News Service
Susan Passi-Klaus is a freelance writer living in Nashville, Tenn. and of publisher "Cracked Pots," an inspirational newsletter for women.