May 13, 2003
by Kathy L. Gilbert

Blair and Jessica had planned a big wedding. She was going to be a June bride.

United Methodist Air Force Chaplain Jack Stanley had planned a nice afternoon of golf to celebrate the retirement of an old friend.

Their lives intersected on a sunny day in March because Blair (last name withheld because of an Air Force protection measure) had just received his deployment orders.

Instead of a long white gown, Jessica got married in jeans and a sleeveless top. Instead of a tuxedo or suit, Blair wore his desert camouflage uniform. Instead of his clerical robe, Stanley wore a golf shirt and slacks.

A golf course at Travis Air Force Base in Solano County, Calif., became a wedding chapel, and a lot of strangers became the couple's family, friends and witnesses.

Stanley has a simple explanation: "They were supposed to be married in the eyes of God."

The couple had tried going to a justice of the peace, but the lines were too long.

"They weren't supposed to just get married by themselves; they needed a lot of people to witness the marriage," Stanley says.

For many young couples, weddings became a casualty of war when deployment orders started arriving earlier this year. Soldiers, sailors, Air Force personnel and Marines at military bases all over the United States rushed to the altar before marching off to the war in Iraq.

"I usually refer people to others because I am strict about marrying people," Stanley says. "I see 19-year-old people in my office every day who went to Reno and got married and now are realizing it wasn't such a good idea."

Stanley, who has been an Air Force chaplain for three years, insists that couples meet several criteria before he will perform a wedding ceremony: 7They cannot have a rush ceremony.

7They must be older than 19 (Blair is 20, Jessica is 19). 7The couple must have gone through marriage counseling. 7They must agree on religion.

7The couple must be planning for children.

Jessica and Blair had been dating for four years, had plans for a big wedding, had gone through counseling, are both Baptist and plan to have children.

They had all the right answers, and Stanley says he was running out of excuses not to perform their wedding.

"The only other excuse I had was I was about to begin a golf tournament!" he says, laughing.

Blair, set to deploy in two hours, was already locked into the "pax terminal," a holding terminal on the base. Once a soldier is locked into the process, there is no coming or going until the airmen get on the plane, Stanley says.

"I said, 'If you can get here, I will marry you. I don't know what hole I will be on, but you can jump on a cart and come find me and I will just stop playing,'" he remembers.

When Stanley told the staff at the golf course what was happening, excitement began to build. The wedding plans were announced on a loudspeaker. All the players gathered around the putting green. Someone in the crowd with a disposable camera became the wedding photographer.

Stanley suddenly remembered the original reason he was there. He was helping celebrate the career of Col. Jim Hannan, vice commander of the military hospital who was retiring. He asked Hannan to start the ceremony.

"Well folks, I've never started a wedding before," Hannan said. "I don't really know what to say, but we've got a couple here whose wedding has just been taken from them because of a short-notice deployment. It is only right that we give them something to remember."

Stanley arranged the couple and started the wedding ceremony. "I saw tears well up in their eyes, and it was at that moment that I felt at peace," he recalls. Not knowing when they would be reunited, Jessica and Blair needed the bond of marriage.

"In spite of the rush and hubbub, I could see they were absolutely sincere in their hearts," Stanley says. "I was thinking, 'Who am I to judge whether they are old enough or mature enough?' My mom was 19 when she got married, and she lived a long healthy life with children."

It was weird for everybody, but the day was a true blessing, Stanley says.

"That is why I am an Air Force chaplain."

United Methodist News Service
Capt. Jack Stanley is chaplain of the 60 Air Mobility Wing and 615 Air Mobility Operations Group for Travis Air Force Base in Solano County, Calif. He first told this story in one of the "Letters From Home," featured on www.umc.org, and later was interviewed by United Methodist News Service. See his story and other letters from home by military chaplains at http://umc.org/headlines/military_outreach/letters_home.htm.