April 2, 2003
by Kathy Gilbert
ATLANTA - Modern families, sex in the scriptures,
the role of religion in marriage and numerous topics in between
were discussed by scholars from a variety of religious disciplines
for three days at Emory University.
"Sex, Marriage, and Family and the Religions
of the Book," was an intense discussion by more than 70 scholars
on research papers with titles ranging from "Happily Ever After?
Sex Marriage, and Family in National and Global Profile" to "Trends
in Dating, Mating, and Union Formation Among Young Adults."
More than 600 participants, including over 200
students, attended the event, supported by the Pew Charitable Trusts
and convened by the Center for the Interdisciplinary Study of Religion
at United Methodist-related Emory. The center was created in 2000
with a five-year, $3.2 million grant from the Pew Charitable Trusts.
"Sex, Marriage, and Family and the Religions of the Book" is the
result of its first two-year project.
Opening the conference, John Witte Jr., Jonas
Robitscher Professor of Law and Ethics at Emory University and director
of the Center for the Interdisciplinary Study of Religion, acknowledged
current events might seem to overshadow the discussion.
In this time of war, devastation and bloodshed,
contemplating the "intricacies and intimacies" of family life may
seem incongruous, he said.
"It's worth noting that there are three things
most people will die for: their faith, their freedom and their family,"
he said.
Conference speakers repeatedly referred to the
statistics:
In the United States from 1975 to
2000, a quarter of all pregnancies were aborted.
One-third of all children were born
to single mothers.
Half of all marriages ended in divorce.
Two-thirds of all juvenile offenders
came from homes of divorce.
Three-quarters of all African-American
children were raised without fathers.
Divorce rates have doubled in the
United Kingdom, France and Australia in the last four decades.
Marriage rates have dramatically decreased,
while illegitimacy, domestic violence, and sexually transmitted
diseases have increased around the globe.
In one of the most spirited sessions, "I Do,
I Don't: The Cases For and Against Marriage," four panelists debated
the pros and cons of marriage.
The panelists took on the tough issues of whether
marriage should be celebrated as a community strength that makes
men and women healthier and happier; abolished as a legal category
that discriminates against single or cohabiting couples; maintained
as a way of keeping fathers involved in childrearing; or kept as
a societal control to ward off sexual chaos.
"Being married changes people in ways that make
them, their children and their communities better off," said Linda
J. Waite, director of the Alfred P. Sloan Center on Parents, Children
and Work at the University of Chicago and co-author of The Case
for Marriage. "Marriage is a public promise to stay together for
life."
But marriages today are far from unbreakable
since the "no-fault divorce revolution," argued Martha Albertson
Fineman, professor of feminist jurisprudence at Cornell University.
Given this and other changes in patterns of intimate
behavior and gender roles, Fineman proposes that marriage should
no longer be the only such privileged legal connection. A diversity
of loving and reproductive relationships exists among adults. "Family
is not synonymous with marriage," she said. "Why should marriage
be the price of entry into state-supported subsidies of families?"
Indeed, marriage as a legal concept is problematic,
said Anita Bernstein, Sam Nunn Professor of Law at Emory. "Marriage
is thought of as freely chosen, but that isn't 100 percent true,"
she said. "Some people want to be married but nobody will have them.
Some people get jilted by their spouses or fiancis. And sometimes
children suffer detriments based on their parents' marital status.
We do choose marriage in that we say, 'I do.' But most people who
enter into marriage don't know its legal consequences."
In turn, healthy, viable marriages encourage
responsible fathering, said William J. Doherty, professor of family
social science and director of the Marriage and Family Therapy program
at the University of Minnesota. "Fathering outside a good-enough
marriage is an endangered species," Doherty said. "In two-parent
families, father involvement is more dependent on the wife's expectations
than (the father's) own."
Also, fathers are more likely to withdraw from
their children if the marriage is in trouble. "Fathering appears
to be a triadic relationship," he said. "Men co-parent with mothers."
Ideally, fathers would provide lifelong emotional and financial
support for their children and their children's mother, even if
the marriage fails. But in reality, this may not occur.
"The utilitarian approach is not robust enough
to ground an ethic of fatherhood," Doherty said. "We need our religious
traditions to do that."
Rebecca Chopp, president of Colgate University
and former provost and executive vice president for academic affairs
at Emory University, took a look into the future with her report,
"Sex, Marriage, and Family: The Challenges of the New Century."
She noted that the conference had emphasized
"naming" the challenges of sex, marriage and family. "Naming - our
responsibility and our opportunity - is the first clear act of humans
in the Hebrew and Christian scriptures, and it runs through the
scriptures as an act of blessing, responsibility and power," she
said.
No transformation of marriage and the family
can occur without addressing "the heart of the matter," said Jean
Bethke Elshtain, professor of social and political ethics at the
University of Chicago, in her session, "Happily Ever After?"
The family is "the site of our deepest longings
and most terrifying fears," she said. "Families ... intensify every
basic human urge, from our most generous capacities to give life
to and sustain others to our most passionate desires to dominate.
Families nurture us, care for us, mold us, or damage us, and send
us out into the world either well or ill equipped for its complexities.
"The family is rather like the canary in the
mine shaft," Elshtain said. "It gives us an early warning system
of where things are wounded and broken and need to be healed or
mended."
Go to the Web site http://www.law.emory.edu/cisr/news.htm
to view Webcasts and highlights of the conference.
United Methodist News Service
Kathy Gilbert is a United Methodist News Service news writer in
Nashville, Tenn.
|